Mense op vreemde plekke treë skielik vreemd op

Vêr plekke, vreemde bekendes …


Al ooit gewonder hoekom nuwe getroudes op wittebrood ‘weggaan’ na ‘n vreemde plek? Dis sodat hulle vreemde grille na vore kan kom en die huwelik se gestryery in alle erns kan beginner! Akkra het sy eie versameling van mense wat heeltemal buite karakter optree.

Swembad chloorpille kan jy maar afdruk, maar dis ‘n kwessie van tyd – daai vreemde goete bly boontoe pop en borrel. Vreemde plekke laat die vreemdheid van mense na bô borrel. Sy’s is ‘n boeremeisie van ‘n klein dorpie Deben– net annerkant Kathu, in Suid –Afrika. Daar noem hulle haar Meisie, maar hier in Akkra dring sy aan om geroep te word: Maro-Zelle. Net gister was sy krummels en vandag is sy brood! Haar man is die kalmte vanself – hulle sprokie lui ietsie soos skoonlief en ondier. Ek weetie of hulle twee-jaar huwelik dit op die lang soutpad gaan maak nie, want hy word boosaardig aggressief op wingerdsap.

Johannes en sy vrou is vanaf die Suidkus, gedink al daai mense is Engels – maar as hulle monde oopgaan besef jy hierdie twee is deurnat erg Afrikaans. Sy het die een na die ander kamtige skeet. Ek dink sy smag na die ‘andersheid’ van hierdie vreemde dokters – of miskien raak sy opgewonde oor die aanraking van vreemdes? So ernstig wil sy as Engels opgeneem te word, dat sy vir mense vertel haar Pa is ‘n Katolieke Priester! Seker die mees Engelse-ding wat sy kan opdink; die Katolieke-ding?

Miems is blykbaar nie ene vir familie drama nie. Pas nadat sy hier aangekom het, het sy Bakkiesboek en sosiale media ontdek. Heeldag se ding; die elektroniese-bekruip-en-beloer wat sy aanvang. Ook nie gister onder ‘n eend uitgebroei nie. Sy het vir haar ‘n ander profile geskep en haar enkellopende suster wil nou met alle geweld die ‘ander’ persoon ontmoet wat nou sodanig in almal ‘belangstel’.

As gevolg van te min belangstelling is Nolene en Antoon net die anderdag wettiglik doei kant in Die Republiek, van mekaar en bed vervreem. Eensklaps kom kuier sy in vakansietyd met die minderjarige kindertjies vir Antoon wat nou so hard werk in die vreemde Akkra. Seker iets in hierdie vreemde bloedige hitte want sy herontdek Antoon se Adamslyf. Die liefde loop storm sterk. Antoon raak meer vreemd by die dag – hy boek af vanaf die werk en die sieknota lees Uitputting.

Ek ken iemand wat mooie-Monika direk geken het voordat sy hierheen getrek het. Sy was lieftallig, erg kerklik en sou geen vlieggie skaad nie. Hierso vermy almal wat haar ontmoet; die tweede ontmoeting. Sy het oornag kwaad geword vir die hele wêreld. As sy nog nie kwaad is nie, kan sy enige oomblik konfrontensioneel word. Terug op Krugersdorp is sy weer die kalm lieftallige Monika van te vore.

Ramatla is ‘n rissiepit Sotho vrou in haar dertigs. In Johannesburg was sy ‘n regte tierwyfie wat as direkteur drie van haar eie firmas bedryf het. Haar naam beteken immers “sterkte” maar hier in Akkra is sy hulpeloos soos ‘n voëltjie met ‘n gebreekte vlerk. Sy kan nou skielik niks vir haarself doen nie, en irriteer almal met haar patetiese houding.

Nou die dag het ek gaan tee drink by Belinda. Sy is wel gesproke, diep geleerd en effe onaktief. In haar sitkamer is reuse kleurfotos van ‘n sport-mal persoon wat rots-klim en valskermspring. Daar wens ek toe ek het ‘n suster met so noue verhouding. Hulle lyfies verskil met veertig kilogram. Stel jou voor my verbasing, toe ek verneem na haar fietse suster in al die fotos – en sy my vertel dis eintlik sy, vyftien maande van te vore!

Intussen het ek ‘n lys gemaak van mense wat weer hulle ou-self geword het na die wittebrood se snaakse gedrag. My gevolgtrekking is dat hulle net vreemder word soos die jare aanstap. So trek vas die sitplekgordels, daar’s interessante tye en aardighede wat in ons toekoms in Akkra voorlê!

ps:  Hier is darem baie Suid-Afrikaners in Akkra. Hulle is nie almal ‘weird’ nie.   Ek is seker net oplettend.  Miskien trek ek die interesantes aan? Maar dan het ek baie van hulle nog nie ontmoet nie!  Oeh – laat ek anderdag verel van die ander lande se uitgewekene expats!

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18 thoughts on “Vêr plekke, vreemde bekendes …

  1. ekmyselff

    Jis ek het nou lekker gelees EN lekker gelag… ek soek tog asb later (nie TE later nie) ‘n “update” oor almal van hulle!
    Jy moe “oplet” dat jy my weer kan kom vertel…
    En JY – het jy ook ‘n mini metamorfose daar ondergaan – lol 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Daniël Bezuidenhout Post author

      Beslis! Ek het wraggies verander. My vat-bollie-meter raak sommer gou vol. Ek verander deesdae net die mense se name – en ek sien die weird soort ‘block’ my op bakkiesboek – maar hulle weet nie ek koop lankal nie meer koerante nie. Die mense lig my sommer so toevallig in van almal se doen-en-late. Sien – almal te bang hulle word die punt van my storietjies. dan deel hulle sommer so ‘terloops’ die sous-deel van die ander…hie hie, ook maar net mens. Niemand gun die ander lek in die son nie, ai.

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      Reply
  2. Spokie sny spoor

    Hiehiehie!! Daars ‘n klomp interessante wesens daar in jou se wêreld? Die plek klink vir my na die ideale vir bietjie anderste aksie en plesiertjies, dis nou vir die siele wat vreemd is… opsoek na ‘n vreemde land.

    Oulik geskryf. Baie geniet.

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  3. Klip

    One time when I was talking to my mom’s co-worker he said that he had no friends. He said that all of his friends were either married or dead. And my friend who is with me says to him “What’s the difference?”

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  4. Christina B

    Dit lyk my so ‘n anderster wêreld bring mense se (ware?) kleure uit. Dis seker vir hulle moeilik om onder druk altyd ‘n goeie voetjie voor te sit. Ek lees lekker, net jammer die mannewales is deel van jou daaglikse lewe.

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  5. Klip

    GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

    Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa – half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

    Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe -well-developed and open to trade, especially
    for something of real value..

    Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain – very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

    Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

    Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..

    Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel – has been through war, doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

    Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada – cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

    After 70, she becomes Tibet – wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages…. an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

    THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

    Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran – ruled by a couple of nuts

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  6. Klip

    A husband desperate to keep his hot wife happy offers to buy is wife a new car. She cutely declines his offer by saying, “That’s not quite what I had in mind.” Frantically he offers her a new house. Again she rejects his offer, “That’s not quite what I had in mind.” Curious, he asks: “What did you have in mind?” She retorts, “I’d like a divorce.” He answers, “I hadn’t planned on spending quite that much.”

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  7. Klip

    Q: Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins?
    A: He baptised one and kept the other as a control.

    Q: What’s the difference between love and marriage?
    A: Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

    Q: What kind of institution is Marriage?
    A: One where a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

    Q: What does marriage do?
    A: Puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under the man’s eyes.

    Q: What kind of rings do men need for marriage A1: Engagement Ring
    A2: Wedding Ring
    A3: Suffe-Ring
    A4: Endu-Ring

    Q: What’s the definition of a happy marriage?
    A: One where the husband gives and the wife takes.

    Q: What’s the difference between love and marriage?
    A: Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!

    Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
    Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

    Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in India, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries.
    Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

    Q: When are feminists bad?
    A: After one marries your sister!

    Q: Who is the perfect husband?
    A: One who keeps his mouth shut and his chequebook open!

    Q: When is it okay to Love thy neighbour?
    A: When her husband is away on business!

    Q: How hard is it to lose a wife?
    A: Nowadays its almost impossible!

    Q: Why shouldn’t you marry a tennis player?
    A: Because love means nothing to them!

    Q: What’s the difference between marrying a Mama’s Boy and a Daddy’s Girl?
    A: One makes biscuits like his mother and the other makes dough like her father!

    Q: The difference between marriage and death?
    A: Dead people are free.

    Q: What is the ideal marriage?
    A: One between a deaf man and a blind woman

    Q: Which one of your children will never grow up and move away?
    A: Your husband!

    Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
    A: Marry it.

    Q: How do you transfer funds even faster than electronic banking?
    A: By getting Married!

    Q: What’s the difference between the Bride and Groom
    A: In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it’s curtains!

    Q: Marriage is what kind of sport?
    A: One where the trapped animal has to buy the license!

    Q: What kind of process is Marriage?
    A: A process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

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  8. Klip

    Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

    My wife said “I think it’s time we heard the pitter patter of little feet again. So I bought her a rat.

    Relationships are like fat people. Most of them don’t work out.

    Married Life
    A husband and wife were in bed watching tv. The husband had the remote in hand switching back and forth between the porn and fishing channels. The wife got pissed off grabbed the remote and kept it on the porn channel and said to hubby.. “Leave it on the porn channel you already know how to fish.”

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